“Children learn best when they like their teacher and they think their teachers likes them.”
Gordon Neufeld
I hear so many moms say, “I could never homeschool!” It’s usually followed with reasons like, “My kid just wouldn’t listen to me,” or “I don’t have the time or patience for that,” or worst of all, “Oh no, I NEED my kid to go to school – I could never spend that much time with them.” Every one of these statements has been said to me at one point, and more specifically, by a parent whose child was overhearing the entire conversation.
So let’s unpack these three reasons you think you can’t homeschool. There’s a LOT here that I could say, but let’s stick to the meat.
My Kid Wouldn’t Listen To Me
Does your child not listen to you now? I don’t mean perfectly, all the time. I mean generally, does your child follow important instructions? Have open, honest conversations with you? Respect and honour you? If not, you need to address that issue. Not as a teacher, but as a mother/father.
Because here is the thing about homeschool – when you drop the idea of yourself as “teacher” and instead just keep the roll of “mother”, “father”, “guide”, and “fellow student”, your relationship to that child doesn’t change. You never have to put your teacher hat on. There is no reason for them to suddenly stop listening to you, because you are still the exact same person who changed their diapers, kissed their boo boos and cuddled them to sleep. You are the safe place. The one they go to for help and answers.
And as a parent, you simply don’t have all the answers, but that’s sort of the point… we are all just people, on a journey of learning, for our entire lives. As a homeschool parent, you are still a parent – but you also come alongside your child to help them learn new information and skills.
I Don’t Have The Time/Patience For That
Honestly, who does? The majority of moms today are frazzled and fried. We’re juggling babies, grocery shopping, side hustles, budgeting, cleaning and laundry, cooking, jobs, friendships, community service, all the while still being a good wife. Where on earth is there time for education in all of that, let alone having the patience to deal with it?
If I can just take a second to shift your perspective on homeschool. Because if you think that home education is supposed to look like you being the english teacher, history teacher, science teacher, art teacher, music teacher, math teacher,… you’ve got it all wrong, friend. Yes, homeschool takes up time in your day, but the amount of hours you put into it varies depending on your goals and vision. When we shifted to a minimalist homeschool approach, a huge weight was lifted. You really don’t have to spend hours upon hours a day teaching your kids. Because children are born curious, they are perfectly capable of learning for themselves. As the homeschool parent, your job is to help them get the information they need.
Once the weight of “how to” homeschool is lifted, the need for extra patience tends to lift, as well. But if as a parent in general, you find your patience regularly running thin, then I would say this to you: find some time to get a refresh and reset. Make space in your life for regularly taking a mental inventory of how you’re doing. Find a friend who will help hold you accountable for self care. When you are mentally healthy, you’ll be able to better parent and tend to your children’s needs, be they physical, mental, or educational.
I Could Never Spend That Much Time With My Kid(s)
I don’t want to gloss over the very real need for a break. I have personally been there, very deep in the trenches – so far in fact that we opted to try public school for one year. So you will receive absolutely no judgment here for feeling like you can’t spend 24/7 with your children. Now, that said…
Parenthood was never intended to be a journey where we ship our kids off to be raised by someone else for 8 hours a day. Nor was it meant to be done completely alone. Homeschool is filled with variety and options, and there is pretty much something out there for everyone. So if you absolutely need some time alone, consider a hybrid program. Or perhaps an enrichment center that offers drop off classes. Look for a co-op or group you can join where the kids learn and play together while the parents talk and pour into one another.
But also as the parent, it truly is your job, and yours alone, to raise your children. Yes, outside influences are necessary also, but your child should never be spending more time with others than they are with you.
This christmas
Sew into the season with homeschool lessons that will last.
Pick up your copy of “Jehovah” a Names of God weekly Advent Devotional today.
Watch Your Words
Lastly, please parents, we must watch our words in front of our children. A few months ago, as yet another mother was expressing to me how she couldn’t bear the thought of having to spend all day with her child, my heart broke because her child was standing there with us as those words spilled from her lips.
Our children are always listening, and our words have a HUGE impact on them. To go back to the quote at the top of this page, what if we replaced the word “teacher” with the word “mom”. (Or “dad” – I don’t want to leave the guys out!)
Children learn best when they like their mom and they think their mom likes them.
Do your kids like you? When you call their name, do they fear yet another assigned task… that they’re in trouble again… that they’re about to hear a speech…? Or do they know that their name is called in love and for their best interest, and that there is joy in your voice?
Do your kids know that you like them? Do you sigh and roll your eyes every time they need your help, or make a mess? Do you spend time at their level, asking questions about their interests and engaging in real conversations? Or is there a disconnect, because kids and adults don’t mingle?
The way we show love to our children matters. The way we connect with our children matters. The way we parent matters. And the way we speak to, and about, our children matters. Being their “teacher” isn’t about stuffing them with information – it’s about connecting with them, guiding them, loving on them, and showing them that learning is joyful and meaningful.
If you still think you can’t homeschool, I would encourage you to dig deep and ask yourself “why”. If you find that the answer is that you actually just don’t want to homeschool, then it’s simple and homeschool just isn’t for you. But if you yearn to keep your children home with you, but fear is holding you back – let go. Release the fear, and jump on board. It might be a bumpy ride, but you’ll find your stride and it will all be worth it.
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