Homeschooling Through Hardship & Life’s Most Difficult Seasons
I’ll never forget where I was and what I was doing the day I got the call that my dad was dying. It was a call I had been mentally preparing myself for for years. I feared it every time the phone rang. But as much as I always knew it would one day come, I never quite expected it to actually come. It’s easy to assume you still have more time.
It’s been a year now since I got that call from my mom. Yet the reality of that phone call… the reality of having lost my dad… it all still feels completely surreal. Life without my dad? He’s always been there for me. Always. Except that as of last year, he hasn’t been and I’m still not sure how to cope with that fact. It hits me at the strangest times and I find myself overwhelmed with disbelief that he’s gone.
Losing my dad was a shock thrown into the middle of a story we are still living out. A new, yet temporary reality that we’ve been existing in for longer than I had expected, yet still needing to disciple and educate my boys through. And it all started with my husband losing his job a year and a half ago. We knew it was coming, thanks to his bravery and willingness to stand up for his personal beliefs and our faith. But unemployment for a year and a half and counting wasn’t exactly in our plans.
To tell you our whole story would take probably longer than anyones attention span, so I’ll spare you all the details. But I think you’ll get a feel for our ups and downs in my story of how we kept homeschooling through all of life’s uncertainty this last year and a half.
Homeschooling Through Unemployment
When my husband lost his job, we already had a new, yet very blurry vision for our future in mind. I won’t even call it a plan, because we hadn’t quite gotten that far. We just knew that my husband was extremely weary from his former career and needed a very, very long break. This was when we decided to pile our family of 7 into a 20’ travel trailer and hit the open road to roadschool for a few months while in search of R+R, time with the Lord, and a new commitment to family life. We had a few deadlines that left us going coast to coast (and back ) to coast in a span of 4 months. It was one heck of a trip and the best experience of our lives. Little did I know, it was also the last time my children would get to see their grandfather. Gosh I will be forever grateful we took that trip and spent so much time with him. (Side note: if you’re ever wondering if you should ‘do that thing’ or ‘take that trip’… just go.)
During our time on the road I had decided that we wouldn’t bring any homeschool books with us. We are somewhere between interest-led learning and Charlotte Mason, and I knew that all of the rich literature we enjoy most just wouldn’t work on this trip thanks to weight capacities. We instead used life lessons, the Bible, and experiences as our homeschool. There were tons of opportunities for patience (hello 7 people living in 150 square feet!) and learning to work together as a family. Our boys had plenty of time to explore new places and things and ideas, and to run free and just be kids.
Homeschooling Through Renovation & Death
Upon returning to San Diego in July of 2022 we knew that homeschooling would be a little challenging given that our DIY home renovations were about to get less DIY and more serious as we prepared our home to be turned into an Air B’n’B – our intended course of business and income. But that summer began with an awful dog bite incident and was immediately followed up with the news that my dad was dying. The following month I barely slept as I flew coast to coast several times in my best attempt to care for my dying father and still have a few days to connect with my husband and children. To say I am grateful and proud of my husband and how he handled it all would be an understatement. He managed to hit on reading, writing, and math with our big kids, keep our little kids out of trouble, AND still host a couple different construction crews.
But most importantly, through all of this our children were learning lessons of compassion. How to be more helpful around the house in the absence of one parent. How to support a family member who is in need. And unfortunately, they were learning how to deal with death. Even if my husband hadn’t covered any of our “formal” lessons with them, their education was so full and meaningful because this time in our lives was helping equip them to grow into strong and healthy men.
Homeschooling Through Uncertainty
To say that we were put through the wringer this past year and a half feels almost like a joke. It’s been a season of extreme ups and downs. The growth I’ve seen in my family has been unlike anything we have ever experienced. To be brutally honest – it sucks to say it, but trial and hardship are really the best teachers. We’ve had to rely on God SO much through these experiences and we’ve truly seen His hand at work through it all.
Our homeschool has definitely changed from what it was two years ago. But it’s been molded into something that better suits our family, especially given where we’re at now. We still have very little income. Our businesses are in their infancy (so please do share my blog with your friends!). Our home construction projects still aren’t finished. All of the work we’re pouring into what we’re doing isn’t leaving much room for history books, science experiments, or big fancy writing projects. But I wouldn’t change this season, and here’s why.
The Fruit
Remember that thing about growth through hardships and trials? It’s producing the most beautiful fruit. All of the traditional school subjects in the world couldn’t grow my boys into strong, capable, loving, compassionate men who are good stewards of God’s creation. It’s real life experiences that do that.
If you’ve caught the drift of our homeschool these past nearly two years, you’ve probably noticed that curriculum wasn’t really involved. Formal lessons nearly didn’t happen. Not to say that we didn’t at times incorporate some of this into our days, but it sure wasn’t’ the focus. Our focus was on God, and each other.
If you’re walking through fire right now, here’s what I’d love for you to know: it’s okay to put down the lesson plans and walk away. Everything we associate with “school” can be put on the backburner. I fully believe (and am now living proof) that if you completely walked away from school for an entire year or two, your children would still be completely fine. They would not miss anything of importance that you couldn’t cover later if you truly needed to.
(Side note and fun fact: when we first hit the road I said to my husband, “wouldn’t it be a cool experiemnt to do no formal schooling for a whole year, then write about it to share with people that they don’t need to take their academics so seriously?” He wasn’t on board with this thought. HAH!)
What is most important in homeschooling is the people that you are raising, not the subjects you are studying. It’s the relationships you are forming, not the books you are reading. It’s the character that you’re building up in your children, not the projects you assign. The best lessons in life are learned through life itself. They’re learned through discipline and intrinsic motivation. They’re learned through having good examples, like loving parents they can look up to who lead with grace.
If you’re homeschooling through hardship right now, remember to give yourself grace as well, and just remember that fire produces refinement. It doesn’t feel good in the moment, and if you need to let go of a lot of your normal routine, that’s okay. Dial it back to basics, and allow others to come along side you. And when you once again have room to breathe, remember to look for the fruit.
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