Have you heard of “deschooling”? Deschooling is the process of peeling away the layers of what we’ve been led to believe about education (a result of traditional schooling) and coming instead into a more natural way and understanding of learning.
Many families who leave the school system will take time to deschool, where they put academics aside to spend time adjusting to the lack of rigor, forced work and learning, and instead focus on relaxing, enjoying natural interests and spending time together. The goal is to establish family bonds and connection, and reignite a child’s natural love of learning.
It is said that typical deschooling takes one month for every year of traditional school education, and this also includes the parents’ education. Often it isn’t the kids who need the extra time to deschool, it’s the parents. Let’s face it – relearning how to learn and educate our children can be especially challenging if all we knew from Pre-K through college was full day, scheduled out schooling with structured curriculum and homework set by state, national, and world wide educational standards.
Deschooling is crucial for families leaving the school system, and is also great for those who choose to homeschool from the start but the parents were traditionally schooled. But while I agree that one month per year of schooling is a great start, I don’t think that it’s always as simple as that. Plus, what of the families who never deschooled at all and just jumped right in? Or families who took a month or two to deschool their young children, but hadn’t considered all of the beliefs they have from their own years of school? A few months of resetting yourselves for homeschool is a great start – but breaking down years worth of the structure of public and (most) private education can take a little more time.
Why Deschooling Isn’t One And Done
Perhaps some families catch on quickly to the deschooling process and can dive right into homeschool with no attachments to a traditional education. That, however, is not everyone. Many aspects of education are so ingrained in us that we’re operating out of those beliefs without even realizing where they come from. In addition, there is direct and indirect pressure for children to live up to certain standards. Ever have a 9 year old who doesn’t read independently? This can feel terrifying to a parent who isn’t confident in their choices.
The majority of parents who choose to homeschool will lean on curriculum to educate their children. Some companies offer complete box sets to cover an entire year’s worth of material for every subject, so shopping is as simple as one-and-done. This is not a slam on those companies or the parents who choose to use them, but I do believe that following along with that type of education is right in line with what we’ve been taught it must look like. Learn these things. At this time. Test. Then move on to the next subject. But how did it ever come to this in the first place?
A (Very) Brief (And Incomplete) History of Education
For most of human history, education has been in the hands of the parents, or perhaps family or tribe. In the US, while schools existed for most of our country’s history (although weren’t widely used), it wasn’t until the 1830’s that the public school began to take hold. While there are conflicting arguments over the details of the hows and whys of public schooling, one of the hopes was that it would unify the diverse groups of our country, lead to more fulfillment in life through gaining steady future jobs, and engrain moral standards in students which would in turn lead to less crime.
“Advocates saw universal education as a means to eliminate poverty, crime, and other social problems. Some early leaders argued that the costs of properly educating children in public schools would be far less than the expenses of punishing and jailing criminals and coping with problems stemming from poverty.”
Kober and Rentner https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED606970.pdf
It is also notable that while some federal money does go into the education program, it is primarily the responsibility of the state and individual municipalities. (This is why each state has its own laws on homeschool.) But the basic model of how and what to teach children began in those early schools where the focus was on the three R’s (Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic), along with other subjects like grammar, history, etc. Over the next 150 years, this type of schooling gained in popularity, even becoming mandatory. But the question remains – did public/mandatory schooling accomplish what it set out to do? Or perhaps we should also ask, is this the best way?
Why This Model Isn’t Ideal
Again for the sake of brevity, I’ll spare you the hows and in-depth whys. (If you would like detailed insight into the history of education as well as the best model for true learning, pick up a copy of Free to Learn by Peter Gray.) But I will have you consider this: how do children learn best? Is it behind a desk, in a room with 19-24 other children the exact same age also behind desks, spending most of the day listening to one person (teacher) who doles out lessons, then requires the learning to be demonstrated on paper and graded based on the child’s understanding? Is learning best achieved by memorizing facts and numbers and the spelling of words? Is it best achieved by remaining in a classroom absorbing said material for 7+ hours a day?
Or is it possible that learning is best achieved through observation of loved ones and respected peers? Through the process of decision making, trial and error? Through hands-on creation? Through research into questions naturally wondered about? Through quiet time to ponder ideas in a relaxing, pressure-free environment?
Is it possible that the best education is the one that is pursued out of natural curiosity and interest, and intrinsic motivation? If you have any inclination to say YES to any of this, and you were also traditionally schooled, then I would argue that you likely need to deschool yourself. Yes parent, I am talking to YOU.
Why Deschooling Takes Time
Not everyone can take an entire year or more away from homeschool to shake off what was ingrained in us through traditional school. Not everyone will be able to disconnect that easily or completely from all we ever knew. But that’s okay – you don’t need to walk away from the education you want to provide your children just because you haven’t fully disassociated with your prior mindsets.
Jump into homeschool anyway. Start with what you feel comfortable starting with, but be prepared to take time to evaluate how it is going. The best thing you can do for your homeschool, and for deschooling, is to be ready and available to change. If all you can let go of at first is that thought that you need desks, educational posters all over the walls, and that you need to cover at least 7 different subjects each semester, then that’s a great place to start. Maybe in a few months, you’ll find that you’re covering too much and decide to focus only on math and reading. Perhaps a few months later you’ll feel like you need more connection with your children. Or that a co-op would be beneficial. Or that your co-op isn’t beneficial. Maybe over the course of a year or two, you’ll decide that you don’t actually need all that curriculum, or even any curriculum at all. Our ancestors never used one – do you really need it?
What I’m getting at, is that deschooling isn’t necessarily something you do once. Sometimes it is a process over the course of years – maybe even your entire homeschool journey – of shedding the layers of what you once thought an education must look like. Homeschool is often just as much a learning experience for us parents as it is for our children, if not more. And every time you drop something that isn’t serving your family, something that you thought you “had to do”, you are deschooling.
Our Story
As we enter into our 8th year of homeschool, I find that my deschooling has really kicked itself into high gear in just these past few years. I hadn’t heard of deschooling until just maybe two years ago. Looking back I wish someone had told me about it and that I had made more of an effort to break away from my preconceived notions, but even without knowing there was a word for it, we were in our own way slowly deschooling all along. And I know that we still aren’t finished. That I am not finished. That the way we educate will continue to evolve as we grow and find new freedom around every bend.
If you are feeling like your homeschool isn’t quite where you’d like it to be… that it isn’t measuring up to those Insta-worthy and Pinterest board homeschools, don’t worry. We haven’t arrived yet, either. Perhaps we never will. But learning is a life-long process, and our willingness to change is what keeps making it better and better. So don’t give up, friend. Take some time to formally deschool if you need to, but just remember that your homeschool can change any time you want it to.
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