As a new homeschool mom over 7 years ago, I knew that I had a lot to learn. But I never could have imagined that first I would have to unlearn so many things. Having spent my entire education in the public and private school systems I was used to only one way of learning: being fed information through a qualified adult, memorizing and regurgitating, being tested and graded, then moving on to the next subject.
Naturally it made sense to me that our home education would look similar. Afterall, there was 13 years worth of information I was fed that I would now have to figure out how to feed to my own children. Realizing I had a lot to unlearn was a sobering thought, but its necessity brought about true freedom in our homeschool and family life.
Honestly, some days it feels challenging to carve out time for God. There was a season where I was barely reading His Word at all because I never got to sit for more than 5 minutes, and when I did I couldn’t focus or absorb anything I was reading.
It felt useless. Hopeless. And Lonely. I was frustrated that I wanted to grow in knowledge, yet unable to study because motherhood alone was taking everything I had, and more.
“In my day we stayed out ‘till the street lights came on and only came home for food.” How often do we talk about our childhood with this nostalgic sense of roaming the neighbourhood, carefree with our friends, or sometimes alone? The idea that childhood anxiety was even a possibility had never crossed our minds.
When I compare to the childhood that my own children are having, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss for them. Today we live in a world where children are mostly in school with forced learning and testing, organized sports, or inside doing homework and playing video games. Those children who are outside are generally (at least in our area) locked behind giant fences, rather than riding bikes in the street or playing unsupervised at the local park. We live in a world where parents are reported to the police for letting their children go to the playground alone or, God forbid, be in the front yard without adult supervision. We treat children like they’re the bottom of society and not capable of being trustworthy or able to make their own good decisions.
I find myself struggling to move on, convincing myself that if we just go play in the neighbourhood more, that the local children will come. But it seems that I am stuck in a past that on longer exists. And along with this new way of life for children has also come a significant increase in childhood anxiety. Could this shift be connected?
Childhood Anxiety
It is widely known that half of all anxiety disorders begin before the age of 11. With childhood anxiety on the rise, this presents some scary numbers for our future adults. I can’t help but question whether the drastic difference in the childhood of the past vs. the childhood of today is a major culprit.
Today we have a lot of what we could call “helicopter parents”. I also notice a lot of parents who talk to their children like they are fragile little beings (“Oh Suzy, be careful! You might get hurt! Jacob, don’t climb up that slide, you might get hurt. Don’t touch that mud, you’ll get dirty. Put on your coat or you’ll get sick.”). Then we have parents who don’t let their children play out front for fear of the legal repercussions, or worse, kidnapping. What I believe we are creating here is a group of children who are being raised with an intrinsic belief that the world is dangerous, and they are at risks at every turn. No wonder anxiety is on the rise!
“When parents have higher levels of anxiety, their child is at increased risk for having an anxiety disorder. This association is particularly strong for maternal anxiety. Overall, it also appears that when mothers are overprotective and attempt to protect their child from potential harm by controlling their behavious, this increases children’s risk for anxiety disorders.” (1.) But it doesn’t have to be this way. Sure there are scary things out there, but the rise in anxiety in our precious children is detrimental.
Adventure Homeschool
Naturally, we believe that homeschool is not so much about education as it is about a way of life. Moreso, we have found joy and freedom in an adventure based homeschool. But this isn’t just about personal experience: there is actual evidence to back up that adventure play is the road out of childhood anxiety. “Children who engaged in more adventurous play that elicited excited or fearful emotions had decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression compared to those who participated in unadventurous activities, according to a recent paper published in Child Psychiatry & Human Development.” (2.) In a nutshell, risky play results in healthier kids.
And to add to it, playing outside is the best route to health. “More outdoor time is linked with improved motor development and lower obesity rates and myopia (nearsightedness) risk. Safely getting some sun also helps us make vitamin D that our bodies need to stay healthy and strong.” (3.) Not to mention that fresh air and connection to the ground (grounding) are beneficial for both mind and body. There’s a reason we like to kick our shoes off and feel the sand, the grass, and even the dirt beneath our feet: it is literally helping regulate our bodies. Rather than jumping to medicating our children (not to say that medication isn’t sometimes necessary) why not go back to our roots, first. Time outdoors, playing freely, like children have done for thousands of years.
Whether you’re a homeschooler or not, clearing your schedule and making time for outdoor play is imperative to the health of our future generations. In a world where we’re moving indoors, constantly on screens and working with AI, let’s remember to get our babies back where they belong: in nature. I guarantee it will benefit more than just the children.
I think that one of the biggest obstacles to having true freedom in homeschool… to having a truly fulfilling experience… is leaving behind the constructs that have been built up in our minds by society’s version of a successful education.
In an age where many parents are starting to ditch the idea that students must be college graduates to be successful, there is still a general belief that children must go to school from ages 4 to 18. That they must complete grades K-12 and follow the curriculum and standards set by the schools and their governing authorities. The board of education knows best; what they deem necessary and in what manner it’s taught is the golden standard.
But is it?
We’re living in an era where the world is moving and changing at such a rapid pace that even the internet algorithms are changing daily.
Traditional schooling tells us that children need to learn a variety of subjects, for 7 hours a day, for 13 straight years. That’s a lot to put on a parent who is stepping into the role of teacher. Yet we go into home education under the impression that we must follow in tune with the schools lest our children be “behind”. Or even worse, that as homeschoolers it’s expected we dedicate extra time to our children’s studies so that they would be “ahead” of their peers. But why are we even making these comparisons? Take your children off that field. It’s not “homeschool” vs “school”. We’re not even playing the same game.
True Freedom in Homeschool
True Freedom in your homeschool comes when you move past the expectations, whether it’s those of society, your family, or even your own. For those of us who were raised in traditional schooling, it can be challenging. Even after 7 years of homeschooling, I still find myself working hard to shed what was so deeply ingrained in me. Often, I hold beliefs that I didn’t even realize were there. But as I continue to question the “whys” and the “hows” of our lifestyle, I can see that much of what I expect and know come from my own childhood experiences in school. The good news is that if those things no longer serve your family well, you can ditch them for something entirely different.
It’s exciting that there is a whole movement of parents who are taking back childhood. They are ditching the norm and educating their unique children in unique ways. They are honouring childhood for what it is: a time of innocence, curiosity, and fun. That’s not to say that there isn’t structure – it’s just that by putting family first, we’re better able to serve our children’s individual needs, give them a beautiful childhood, and raise up strong, confident men and women who have soaked in 18 years of truth, beauty and goodness.
If you want to break out of the tiny, constricting box of the American standard, try asking yourself these questions:
What type of people do I want my children to be?
What kind of childhood do I want my children to have?
This should be the basis of your homeschool. If what you’re doing isn’t serving these two goals, then perhaps you need to reevaluate and try something new. It’s not always easy; families are complex things and nothing will ever be perfect. But your homeschool can be more beautiful, and it certainly can feel more free.
