The subjects and topics we could cover in a home education are endless. Literally. If there are things that can be learned, they can be homeschool subjects. But there is one subject that trumps all the others in its importance, relevance, necessity, and ability to produce the best results, and that is… Play.
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Five kids?! How are you still so skinny?!
This might be an odd topic to talk about. Then again, it’s odd that people feel the need to comment on perfect strangers’ weight. So let’s put this out in the open and talk about staying healthy and fit.
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You’ve seen the gorgeous Pinterest worthy homeschool rooms and spaces. The clean walls, bookshelves filled with original copies of the classics, botanical wall art with scientific names hanging uncluttered by an open window and clean wooden tables and chairs with markers neatly arranged in adorably tiny metal pails.
These spaces are beautiful. I’m sure they are a blessing to the families who have them. But are they necessary? And are you at a loss if you don’t have one? I say no, and no. Here’s why.
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Okay, but what does a rogue homeschool actually look like? And how does one go about doing the unconventional?
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They say it takes a village to raise a child, and we mom’s are often left asking, “where’s the village?” I’ll tell you where it is: we drove it away.
Society today is riddled with fear and agitation. We struggle to let it slide when someone cuts us off in traffic, or so much as looks at us sideways. We’re offended when another mom at the playgrounds tells our kid not to eat the granola bar they just dropped or not to run up the slide.
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“In my day we stayed out ‘till the street lights came on and only came home for food.” How often do we talk about our childhood with this nostalgic sense of roaming the neighbourhood, carefree with our friends, or sometimes alone? The idea that childhood anxiety was even a possibility had never crossed our minds.
When I compare to the childhood that my own children are having, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss for them. Today we live in a world where children are mostly in school with forced learning and testing, organized sports, or inside doing homework and playing video games. Those children who are outside are generally (at least in our area) locked behind giant fences, rather than riding bikes in the street or playing unsupervised at the local park. We live in a world where parents are reported to the police for letting their children go to the playground alone or, God forbid, be in the front yard without adult supervision. We treat children like they’re the bottom of society and not capable of being trustworthy or able to make their own good decisions.
I find myself struggling to move on, convincing myself that if we just go play in the neighbourhood more, that the local children will come. But it seems that I am stuck in a past that on longer exists. And along with this new way of life for children has also come a significant increase in childhood anxiety. Could this shift be connected?
It is widely known that half of all anxiety disorders begin before the age of 11. With childhood anxiety on the rise, this presents some scary numbers for our future adults. I can’t help but question whether the drastic difference in the childhood of the past vs. the childhood of today is a major culprit.
Today we have a lot of what we could call “helicopter parents”. I also notice a lot of parents who talk to their children like they are fragile little beings (“Oh Suzy, be careful! You might get hurt! Jacob, don’t climb up that slide, you might get hurt. Don’t touch that mud, you’ll get dirty. Put on your coat or you’ll get sick.”). Then we have parents who don’t let their children play out front for fear of the legal repercussions, or worse, kidnapping. What I believe we are creating here is a group of children who are being raised with an intrinsic belief that the world is dangerous, and they are at risks at every turn. No wonder anxiety is on the rise!
“When parents have higher levels of anxiety, their child is at increased risk for having an anxiety disorder. This association is particularly strong for maternal anxiety. Overall, it also appears that when mothers are overprotective and attempt to protect their child from potential harm by controlling their behavious, this increases children’s risk for anxiety disorders.” (1.) But it doesn’t have to be this way. Sure there are scary things out there, but the rise in anxiety in our precious children is detrimental.
Naturally, we believe that homeschool is not so much about education as it is about a way of life. Moreso, we have found joy and freedom in an adventure based homeschool. But this isn’t just about personal experience: there is actual evidence to back up that adventure play is the road out of childhood anxiety. “Children who engaged in more adventurous play that elicited excited or fearful emotions had decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression compared to those who participated in unadventurous activities, according to a recent paper published in Child Psychiatry & Human Development.” (2.) In a nutshell, risky play results in healthier kids.
And to add to it, playing outside is the best route to health. “More outdoor time is linked with improved motor development and lower obesity rates and myopia (nearsightedness) risk. Safely getting some sun also helps us make vitamin D that our bodies need to stay healthy and strong.” (3.) Not to mention that fresh air and connection to the ground (grounding) are beneficial for both mind and body. There’s a reason we like to kick our shoes off and feel the sand, the grass, and even the dirt beneath our feet: it is literally helping regulate our bodies. Rather than jumping to medicating our children (not to say that medication isn’t sometimes necessary) why not go back to our roots, first. Time outdoors, playing freely, like children have done for thousands of years.
Whether you’re a homeschooler or not, clearing your schedule and making time for outdoor play is imperative to the health of our future generations. In a world where we’re moving indoors, constantly on screens and working with AI, let’s remember to get our babies back where they belong: in nature. I guarantee it will benefit more than just the children.
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I think that one of the biggest obstacles to having true freedom in homeschool… to having a truly fulfilling experience… is leaving behind the constructs that have been built up in our minds by society’s version of a successful education.
In an age where many parents are starting to ditch the idea that students must be college graduates to be successful, there is still a general belief that children must go to school from ages 4 to 18. That they must complete grades K-12 and follow the curriculum and standards set by the schools and their governing authorities. The board of education knows best; what they deem necessary and in what manner it’s taught is the golden standard.
We’re living in an era where the world is moving and changing at such a rapid pace that even the internet algorithms are changing daily.
Traditional schooling tells us that children need to learn a variety of subjects, for 7 hours a day, for 13 straight years. That’s a lot to put on a parent who is stepping into the role of teacher. Yet we go into home education under the impression that we must follow in tune with the schools lest our children be “behind”. Or even worse, that as homeschoolers it’s expected we dedicate extra time to our children’s studies so that they would be “ahead” of their peers. But why are we even making these comparisons? Take your children off that field. It’s not “homeschool” vs “school”. We’re not even playing the same game.
True Freedom in your homeschool comes when you move past the expectations, whether it’s those of society, your family, or even your own. For those of us who were raised in traditional schooling, it can be challenging. Even after 7 years of homeschooling, I still find myself working hard to shed what was so deeply ingrained in me. Often, I hold beliefs that I didn’t even realize were there. But as I continue to question the “whys” and the “hows” of our lifestyle, I can see that much of what I expect and know come from my own childhood experiences in school. The good news is that if those things no longer serve your family well, you can ditch them for something entirely different.
It’s exciting that there is a whole movement of parents who are taking back childhood. They are ditching the norm and educating their unique children in unique ways. They are honouring childhood for what it is: a time of innocence, curiosity, and fun. That’s not to say that there isn’t structure – it’s just that by putting family first, we’re better able to serve our children’s individual needs, give them a beautiful childhood, and raise up strong, confident men and women who have soaked in 18 years of truth, beauty and goodness.
If you want to break out of the tiny, constricting box of the American standard, try asking yourself these questions:
This should be the basis of your homeschool. If what you’re doing isn’t serving these two goals, then perhaps you need to reevaluate and try something new. It’s not always easy; families are complex things and nothing will ever be perfect. But your homeschool can be more beautiful, and it certainly can feel more free.
Break free, my friend. Break free.
If I were to sit down and write out ALL that I wish I knew, or would say to my younger pre-homeschooling self, we would be here for a very long time. But gosh, how do you take 7 years worth of experience and cram it into one tiny blog post that will keep your readers interested?
You can’t. The answer is, you simply can’t. It’s too much. So much of it is personal. A lot of what I’ve learned is on an emotional level, somewhere so deep that the words are hard to extract.
But you came here to find out what would be good to know before stepping aboard this homeschool mom ship, so I suppose I have to leave you with a few nuggets of wisdom. But even these points were hard to write, because there is so much more to say. Perhaps I’ll follow this up with part 2: “3 MORE things I wish I knew before becoming a homeschool mom”. Then “Another 3 more things I wish I knew…”. We’ll see where inspiration takes me! For today’s article, here are just 3 things I wish I knew before diving head first into homeschool.
Obvious, I know. This is one of the major reasons we homeschool right? Well, honestly it’s taken me years to realize that this time with my babies just slips away like water through my fingers. For us moms in the trenches, it can be hard to embrace the day-to-day when it’s quite literally 24/7, and I’m desperate for a moment of quiet and alone. But gosh, the time we have with these little humans (or not so little if you have teens) is so fleeting. We only have 18 years to help direct and mold them into the wonderful men and women we hope for them to be. Their childhood innocence only lasts so long before the world is trying to steal it away.
Mama bear, your every moment with your children is sacred. You are their everything. Homeschool isn’t just for the better education you wish for them to have – it’s something that will completely change their lives. Embrace it. Train them up in the way they should go, so that when they are grown they won’t depart from it. Handing our children over to the state, or even private educators is giving our children over to someone else to raise. But in taking on home education, you are taking your children back. You are soaking up all of the moments that would have been experienced by someone else. Your children were given to YOU to raise – it is a large calling, but you were called, and God will equip you.
When I first started homeschooling I was drowning in questions about what to do, where to find curriculum, what I needed to teach, when my child should start multiplication, how to teach spelling, and so on and so forth. I also recognized that there were questions that I didn’t even know to ask yet. I felt like I was trying to map out an entire castle while my only view was through the keyhole. How did anyone ever manage to cover it all?!
Years later, I’ve realized that I never needed to stress over any of that, at all. Actually I’d have been better off doing nothing at all that first year, and just enjoying my children, allowing natural discovery and curiosities to lead us. Perhaps I lean a little bit Unschooly*, but the further into this homeschool journey we go, the more I realize that the structured stuff, especially in the early years, is so unnecessary.
*You can read more about homeschool styles here.
It’s okay that I don’t have a teaching degree or know how to do calculus. Going into our first year of homeschool, my oldest kiddo was coming out of a year of public TK – I had relented to giving school a try out of desperation for a break and on the verge of an emotional breakdown. This Kindergarten year I went into homeschool with little faith in my abilities, and just grateful that I couldn’t possibly fail a year that he had practically already completed with an actual, trained teacher. But oh the things I’ve since learned.
Without going on a long rant about why you don’t need to be a teacher to teach, I’ll leave it at this: I am Mother, and I know my child best. You are Mother, and YOU know your child best. I am not a teacher, nor do I have to be. In homeschool, we can learn new subjects together. My role is to be a steady hand of love in my child’s life. The person who helps him discover new ideas and uncover nature’s mysteries. I can help him learn how to learn, equipping him with a knowledge that will serve him for a lifetime. What’s most important is cultivating a love of learning, emotional stability, and connection. No degree required.
Mama, if you’re considering homeschool, are new to the game, or have been in it for years already… you are your child’s best chance. Being a homeschool mom is a beautiful journey that will transform the lives of your entire family. Even if you feel overwhelmed by all that you don’t know, just get started. The best way to learn is by doing and in time you’ll find answers, end up with even more questions, and eventually find your stride. You can do this, mama.
“School at Home” wasn’t really a term that was used before the world came to an awkward halt in 2020. Up until then it was known as just regular old homeschool, home education, or other names that more closely reflect the various styles of homeschool. (If you are unfamiliar with homeschool styles, you can read more about them here.)
When the schools closed and eventually switched over to Zoom, suddenly everyone was a “homeschooler”. People were home all day with their children, setting them up with a computer so they could log on with their classmates. Parents were printing out the daily worksheets and helping their children through what needed further explanation (if they had the time and understood what was being taught). These families finally understood what their home education friends were experiencing… they were homeschooling now, too.
Except that really, they weren’t. Like, at all. What they were doing was “school at home”, and that is not the same. And “school at home”, if I may be so bold, is the death of homeschool.
School at home is just what its name implies: it’s taking what the school system says should be done, how it should be done, and in what order, then checking all those boxes at home. Sound thrilling? Sure, there’s some flexibility. Math can be taught in the morning OR the afternoon. Recess can be a full hour. Lunch can include food that’s actually healthy AND appetizing… sound freeing yet?
There is a reason most home educators choose to structure their homeschool much, much differently than the traditional school model. It’s that schools are not run in the best interest of the child. They do not help raise up children who truly know and care about the natural world around them. Instead they are designed to pump children with information they won’t remember, repeatedly test them for the sake of statistics, and make good law abiding citizens ripe for the workforce. In addition, schools today are accepting children as young as 4, then expecting them to read and write and sit still and quiet for circle time. So much for the joys of childhood. And if this is how you choose to homeschool, I would have to ask you why you chose to home educate in the first place. Reproducing the school environment at home is far, far from the point.
While “school at home” isn’t necessarily as bad as all that, it is not a recipe for homeschool success. And if it’s being overseen and directed by an actual school, it likely will not produce the fruit and beauty of a true home education.
As parents and home educators, homeschool can be whatever we want it to be, and there are as many different ways to do it as there are families doing it. I’ll have you consider this: what type of person do you want your child to grow up to be (values, etc.), and what type of childhood do you want them to have right now? Forget about which facts you want them to memorize, which wars you want them to be able to write a 5 paragraph essay on, and how many aspects of science you want them to be able to recall. First, just focus on the personhood of your child. Enjoy lots and lots of free time together. Heck, even try doing NO school work at all for a while.
So what should you do? That’s not something I can answer for you. Only you know what’s best for your family. And if you’re not sure what that is yet, it’s okay. Take some time to test the homeschool waters. Read up on different homeschool styles and find out which one resonates with you and your family. And just remember, you don’t have to do it all. Even if you feel like you’re doing nothing at all, you’re probably doing more than you realize. Just love on your children. Give them time to enjoy what they’re passionate about. Go exploring. Adventuring. Find reasons to smile together. I promise you won’t regret giving them the time to just be kids.
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Ever had a week where you just want to run away and hide for a while? We’ve had a really challenging year, but the stress levels last week were just extra. The small amount of “official” homeschool we typically do was mostly put on hold, but there was just so much going on that I found myself even wanting to walk away from momming for a few days. Definitely not my best week, or a good representation of my role here.
Extra hard weeks, months, and years aside, nobody is perfect. The internet so easily paints a picture perfect life in our heads, then we feel crappy for falling short of what was never a reality. Nor is it achievable, anyway. Or if it is, it’s probably not healthy. So to help you feel a little better about your own mess ups and dirty secrets as a homeschool mom, here’s a few confessions from my own real-life adventure homeschool lifestyle. Buckle up; I’m about shed some light on what goes on when the camera isn’t out.
I’m usually still in my PJs at noon. Sometimes until closer to dinner time. Pretty much I have little motivation to put clothes on unless I absolutely have to leave the house. So if you drop by before noon, don’t judge me. Also, maybe please keep all drones away from my backyard. In summer time I don’t wear pants.
We don’t have an area for digging and it’s not going well. Nope. No mud kitchens here. We had a “digging spot” for a while, but one kid decided to make mud balls with rocks inside and throw them over the fence at cars. So since that obviously wasn’t going well either naturally we had to ban all fun from the backyard. The children now find other ways to destroy the house. Three cheers for creativity.
Some days we don’t do schoolwork for no other reason than I don’t feel like it. Honestly, I’m leaning more and more into Unschooling these days, anyway. Give the kids some chores, tell them to make their own fun and call it a day of natural learning. A+.
Some days I don’t go outside. GASP! I know, and this from someone who is always saying to get outside. Well sometimes a girl just wants to chill at home in her PJs all day. Besides, down time for mindless Instagram scrolling is probably how I’ve found the majority of exciting places we’ve ended up exploring.
We’re not well equipped adventurers. We don’t own much gear. My 12 year old only owns one pair of shoes (they’re sneakers). We have no rain jackets or hiking boots. No emergency water filter straws or rain boots. No extreme cold weather gear or hiking poles. The first aid kit I carry in my water backpack amounts to chapstick and approximately 3 bandaids. Also tissues in allergy season. I’m also directionally challenged and awful at reading maps.
Contrary to the previous confession, at one point I think I owned 11 different baby carriers. How many kids did I wear at that point? Two for sure, sometimes the middle kiddo would ask to get carried. But baby carriers are like shoes and accessories. You obviously would never wear tennis shoes to a fancy dinner date (unless you’re my 12 year old), nor would you wear snow boots to the beach. You also wouldn’t use your purse in place of a backpack in most cases. Well baby carriers are basically like that. Basically… Plus I like to colour match my moods when possible.
My kids play video games and watch mind numbing television. It’s really not my preference. If I had it my way, we would throw away all the screens, except for one that we would only pull out sometimes for educational purposes. But my boys really like video games and watching Pokemon. And I like when they’re all sitting happily in one place for a blissful hour of time when I can actually complete a thought or two without a slew of interruptions.
If my little kids bathe once a week it’s pretty much a miracle. My older kiddos at this point are realizing that they smell bad and their hair gets greasy if they don’t shower quite frequently. But the little ones… uhg. It’s still like wrestling with a wet cat. Being clean is not something they care for, and I don’t generally have the will to fight them. So if you see my kids with marker all over their arms and legs and dirt streaks on their faces and feet, just know that yes, they’ve probably looked like that for at least a day or two. Or five.
One of my kids doesn’t like hiking. Yeah, I know. Ouch. He’s never been my great outdoor explorer, and has always gravitated toward screens and other hobbies. That’s okay – I know that hiking isn’t for everyone. But he’s a good sport and I don’t give him the option to stay home. I figure in the end, he’ll either learn to appreciate it or for the rest of my life he’ll remind me how I constantly dragged him out into the woods or the desert to torture him with sunshine and fresh air.
We don’t have a homeschool room, desks, or even a lot of books. Now, a couple desks in quiet places would actually be great. And I wouldn’t mind having more books. But 7 people living in 1400 square feet, or sometimes 150 square feet, really leaves not much room for anything extraneous. Also, I prioritized having a guest room. #sorrynotsorry
I’m sure if you followed me around for a week you’d have a long list of other things I should add to this confessional. But hey, I’m sure you’ve got a list, too, and hopefully mine makes you feel a little better about yours. I really do love scrolling through the beautiful Instagram photos, but let’s also remember to keep it real and encourage our fellow homeschool moms to rest assured that the rest of us have a mess behind the pretty pictures, too.
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